This article reflects on the psychological methods in which one can potentially surpass the final year of the University of Greenwich.

A very short moment ago I had observed a large spider escalating from the back of my monitor and this was a rare occurrence as I haven’t seen a spider in my room for the past 3 or so years. I paid very little attention to the spider until I realised that it had stopped at an altitude which was bothersome to the both parties involved in this spider-human relationship.

I normally wouldn’t hurt spiders, I find them fascinating; however, if this spider was to make its nest above my monitor it would be bothersome for me and unsafe for it. I began attacking the spider with my face. Repeatedly attacking it with my face, over and over and over again; and after realising this approach was ineffective, out of the goodness of my heart, I began attacking it with miniature droplets of liquids.

After about 10 seconds the spider ‘folded up’ into a ball and hung from its web. At that exact moment, I had an epiphany! I realised that either this spider had died from the miniature water droplets (which was impossible because of its size) or it began defending itself against this unknown enemy.

From that experience, I find this approach of ‘folding up’ may be effective when dealing with the University of Greenwich. After a period of time, it may become apparent that an individual may feel threatened by UoG; and so, the method of sequentially folding oneself up can pose as an effective method to dealing with this threat.

In closing, after I left the room and returned, the spider had disappeared. I now fear for my life as I write this message at my PC…


Please be advised that the methods used to scare the spider were a result of prolonged exposer to Distributed Information Systems and SHOULD NOT be attempted at home.

Inspired by: Darren Rattansingh.

Why?: Well…

Categorised As:Fail, Funny, Random, Really?, WIN